# -*- coding: utf-8 -*- import sopel.module import random import re import requests import praw import client from threading import Timer from HTMLParser import HTMLParser @sopel.module.commands('4matter') def fourmatter(bot, trigger): bot.say('Irish I be fookin <3 Milo') # @sopel.module.commands('allah') # def allah(bot, trigger): # bot.say('allah is doing') # bot.say('sun is not doing allah is doing') # bot.say('to accept Islam say that i bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allah and Muhammad peace be upon him is his slave and messenger') @sopel.module.commands('ada', 'hoskinson') def ada(bot, trigger): bot.say('DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?') @sopel.module.commands('aminorex') def aminorex(bot, trigger): bot.say('if i could replace my wife with a robot... i might seriously think about it') @sopel.module.commands('ayylmao', 'lmao') def lmao(bot, trigger): bot.say('https://i.redd.it/jjiwl9dbejoy.jpg') @sopel.module.commands('banana') def banana(bot, trigger): bot.say('(') @sopel.module.commands('bananas') def bananas(bot, trigger): bot.say('(((') @sopel.module.commands('barolo') def barolo(bot, trigger): bot.say('I just opened a 2004 barolo in your and all the devs honor -- https://i.ytimg.com/vi/-JvdfsIeb-s/hqdefault.jpg') @sopel.module.commands('bb') def bb(bot, trigger): bot.say('https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VvbP0QNmF0') bbloptions = [ "don't worry", "it's fine", "everything is good", "๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿคฃ", "afk", "it's all good", "please go back and re-read it, it's good", "don't worry about me, I'm relaxed for a reason", "I will be back expectedly an hr or more later", "you didn't understand what you read, I'll be back later", "pls wait for a little", ".....ok I'm back", "actual bbl", "Then you need to review it again. Take it from the author who apparently knows what he's talking about. Otherwise just ignore it and pretend I didn't post it OK, bbl", "As a matter of fact it sounds like you have an actually understood or read all of the details yet so I will give you some more timei, bbl" ] @sopel.module.commands('bbl') def bbl(bot, trigger): bot.say(random.choice(bbloptions)) @sopel.module.commands('bear') def bear(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'ส• ยท(ใ‚จ)ยท ส”'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('brothers') def brothers(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'http://www.trollaxor.com/2011/11/brief-history-of-ascii-penis.html'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('bp', 'bps', 'bulletproof', 'bulletproofs') def bulletproofs(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kk8eJh4i8Lo'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('buyorsell') def buyorsell(bot, trigger): draw = random.random() if draw < 0.33: silly_string = "Sell, sell, sell!" elif 0.66 > draw >= 0.33: silly_string = "Hodl!" elif 1 > draw >= 0.66: silly_string = "Buy, buy, buy!" bot.say(silly_string) @sopel.module.commands('chad') def chad(bot, trigger): bot.say('https://i.redd.it/6pvmtwkoy0a21.jpg') @sopel.module.commands('cheerup') def cheerup(bot, trigger): bot.say('https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXfC16rv_fs') @sopel.module.commands('china') def china(bot, trigger): bot.say('https://youtu.be/ZrNrleD2ZFs') @sopel.module.commands('collect') def collect(bot, trigger): syntax_err_msg = 'The syntax is: .collect ' # check for too many args if trigger.group(5): bot.say('Too many arguments! ' + syntax_err_msg) return # check for enough args if not trigger.group(4): bot.say('Too few arguments! ' + syntax_err_msg) return # make sure second arg is a number try: float(trigger.group(4)) except: bot.say('Second arg must be a number! ' + syntax_err_msg) return item = str(trigger.group(3)).lower() quantity = float(trigger.group(4)) # the values must be ints or floats Prices = { \ "bottle": .05, "bottles": .05, \ "can": .03, "cans": .03 \ } # check if we know the value for the item if item in Prices: pass else: bot.say(item + "!?! I don't know the value!") return coin = "monero" coin_price = 0 # try to get the USD, first from gecko try: r = requests.get('https://api.coingecko.com/api/v3/coins/' + coin) j = r.json() coin_price = j['market_data']['current_price']['usd'] except: # try once more before giving up try: r=requests.get('https://api.coinmarketcap.com/v1/ticker/' + coin) j=r.json() coin_price=float(j[0]['price_usd']) except: bot.say("Failed to retrieve price for {}.".format(coin)) return if coin_price == 0: # this should never execute, right? bot.say("{} is worth nothing.".format(coin)) return else: value_of_one_item = 0 try: value_of_one_item = float(Prices.get(item)) except: # the values in Prices must be ints or floats, of course bot.say("Couldn't convert item value to a float! How?!? Why?!?") return value_of_items_collected_in_one_day = quantity * value_of_one_item weekly_coins_to_buy = value_of_items_collected_in_one_day * 7 / coin_price bot.say('{0} price: ${1:,.2f}, and {2} price: ${3:,.3f}'.format(item.capitalize(), value_of_one_item, coin.capitalize(), coin_price)) bot.say('{0}: collect {1} per day to exchange for {2:,.5f} {3} each week!'.format(item.capitalize(), quantity, weekly_coins_to_buy, coin)) @sopel.module.commands('covid', 'corona', 'conv') def covid(bot, trigger): if not trigger.group(2): try: r = requests.get( 'https://corona.lmao.ninja/v2/all') j = r.json() cases = j['cases'] deaths = j['deaths'] recovered = j['recovered'] active = j['active'] affectedCountries = j['affectedCountries'] bot.say("Total Cases : {0} || Total Deaths : {1} || Recovered Cases : {2} || Active Cases : {3} || Affected Countries : {4} ".format( cases, deaths, recovered, active, affectedCountries)) except: bot.say("API fucked up :(") else: try: countryname = trigger.group(2) r = requests.get( 'https://corona.lmao.ninja/v2/countries/{0}'.format(countryname)) j = r.json() country = j['country'] cases = j['cases'] todayCases = j['todayCases'] deaths = j['deaths'] todayDeaths = j['todayDeaths'] recovered = j['recovered'] active = j['active'] critical = j['critical'] bot.say("Country : {0} || Total Cases : {1} || Today Cases : {2} || Total Deaths : {3} || Today Deaths : {4} || Recovered Cases : {5} || Active Cases : {6} || Cricital Cases : {7} ".format( country, cases, todayCases, deaths, todayDeaths, recovered, active, critical)) except: bot.say("API fucked up :(") @sopel.module.commands('cryptosid', 'sid') def cryptosid(bot, trigger): bot.say('https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/58acbbd0280000d59899a57a.jpeg?ops=crop_5_33_460_393,scalefit_720_noupscale') @sopel.module.commands('cursive') def cursive(bot, trigger): instring = trigger.group(2) outstring = u'' normals = ['a','b','c','d','e','f','g','h','i','j','k','l','m','n','o','p','q','r','s','t','u','v','w','x','y','z','A','B','C','D','E','F','G','H','I','J','K','L','M','N','O','P','Q','R','S','T','U','V','W','X','Y','Z'] curses = [u'๐“ช',u'๐“ซ',u'๐“ฌ',u'๐“ญ',u'๐“ฎ',u'๐“ฏ',u'๐“ฐ',u'๐“ฑ',u'๐“ฒ',u'๐“ณ',u'๐“ด',u'๐“ต',u'๐“ถ',u'๐“ท',u'๐“ธ',u'๐“น',u'๐“บ',u'๐“ป',u'๐“ผ',u'๐“ฝ',u'๐“พ',u'๐“ฟ',u'๐”€',u'๐”',u'๐”‚',u'๐”ƒ',u'๐“',u'๐“‘',u'๐“’',u'๐““',u'๐“”',u'๐“•',u'๐“–',u'๐“—',u'๐“˜',u'๐“™',u'๐“š',u'๐“›',u'๐“œ',u'๐“',u'๐“ž',u'๐“Ÿ',u'๐“ ',u'๐“ก',u'๐“ข',u'๐“ฃ',u'๐“ค',u'๐“ฅ',u'๐“ฆ',u'๐“ง',u'๐“จ',u'๐“ฉ'] for idx, val in enumerate(instring): if val in normals: outstring += curses[normals.index(val)] else: outstring += val bot.say(outstring) @sopel.module.commands('dash') def dash(bot, trigger): bot.say('http://www.dash-wash.com/it-it') @sopel.module.commands('dealwithit') def dealwithit(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'(โ€ข_โ€ข) ( โ€ข_โ€ข)>โŒโ– -โ–  (โŒโ– _โ– )'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('Deathtobitcoin', 'Deathtobitcoin2') def deathtobitcoin2(bot, trigger): bot.say('Devs, moderators, whoever you fucking are, please put my money back with interest. Or make my money appear in my wallet with interest!') @sopel.module.commands('diiorio') def diiorio(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'http://www.contravex.com/2016/06/29/from-the-scammer-files-anthony-di-iorio/'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('disapprove') def disapprove(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'เฒ _เฒ '.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('ded') def ded(bot, trigger): if random.random() < 0.5: bot.say('http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/715/140/3b2.jpg') else: bot.say('https://imgur.com/a/yzNZW') @sopel.module.commands('donate', 'donation') def donate(bot, trigger): bot.say('XMR: 848bZGkKWNwi588P5EN3cwE7n8UZtCWYVQ3ppWutYkSj6ihLQRawivEgdj6AddpDZ9eCZEr5B6kpih3U2vQzhpPnRhNkfut', trigger.nick) bot.say('BTC: 38JoVcr49qKZTfweNKDkZSmPYdGu86AYqr', trigger.nick) @sopel.module.commands('dump') def dump(bot, trigger): bot.say('https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHg8qIKJo1I') @sopel.module.commands('encrypt') def encrypt(bot, trigger): bot.say("https doesn't hide the fact that i'm using https so that's why i don't use encryption because everyone is trying to crack encryption so i just don't use encryption because no one is looking at unencrypted data because everyone wants encrypted data to crack") @sopel.module.commands('eth') def eth(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'The world computer ๐Ÿ’ป๐ŸŒ'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('ferret', 'ferretinjapan') def ferret(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'โ™ฅโ€ฟโ™ฅ https://crypto314.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/monero-1505185532555-723x1024.png โ™ฅโ€ฟโ™ฅ'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('fib', 'fibonacci') def fib(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'Pardon me, do you have a moment to discuss our lord and savior โœžCheesus Moneroโœž?'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('flip') def flip(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'(โ•ฏยฐโ–กยฐ๏ผ‰โ•ฏ๏ธต โ”ปโ”โ”ป'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('fuck') def fuck(bot, trigger): bot.say("Fuck your {} if you want fuck!".format(trigger.group(2))) fuckyouoptions = [ "http://imgur.com/Kt8os8v", "https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/502111486915788801/DtB5ruDz_400x400.jpeg", "http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/70/7073ff0ce9c54f6672f157ebef668c1b6bb123d15fc2e2bc062ec1558f964820.jpg", "http://static.deathandtaxesmag.com/uploads/2015/01/staff-troll-fuck-you.png", ] @sopel.module.commands('fuckyou') def fuckyou(bot, trigger): bot.say(random.choice(fuckyouoptions)) @sopel.module.commands('gay') def gay(bot, trigger): bot.say('https://i.imgur.com/RHbXrLa.png') @sopel.module.commands('gui') def gui(bot, trigger): bot.say('http://imgur.com/a/hnxfS') hitleroptions = [ 'https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2WfedZG7bo', r"There's always Aeon", 'http://adolfcoin.camp/' ] @sopel.module.commands('hitler', 'adolf') def hitler(bot, trigger): bot.say(random.choice(hitleroptions)) @sopel.module.commands('hmm', 'hmmm') def hmm(bot, trigger): reddit = praw.Reddit(client_id=client.client_id, client_secret=client.client_secret, user_agent='asdfasdfasdfjhwrgth', username=client.username, password=client.password) #try: sub=reddit.subreddit('hmmm') posts=sub.new(limit=100) n=random.randint(0,100) for i, post in enumerate(posts): if i==n: bot.say(post.url) #except: # bot.say("Something something reddit's servers") herooptions = [ "https://video.twimg.com/tweet_video/DEnItJjV0AI81CK.mp4", "https://media.giphy.com/media/REH3MZp1FeCM8/giphy.gif", ] @sopel.module.commands('hero') def hero(bot, trigger): bot.say(random.choice(herooptions)) @sopel.module.commands('hotline') def hotline(bot, trigger): if random.random() > 0.3: bot.say(u'โ˜Ž Call 1-800-273-8255 to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline โ˜Ž' .encode('utf8')) else: bot.say('http://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vulture/2015/10/20/drake-dance/drake-4.w529.h352.gif') @sopel.module.commands('news') def news(bot, trigger): bot.say("https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr_WtFW0a8Y") @sopel.module.commands('invest') def invest(bot, trigger): bot.say('i think invest in bitcoin is much more safe and profitable because bitcoin price rising to higher value and we do not face to any risk when we invest our money in bitcoin and i if we invest our money in bitcoin we will be get a good profit from bitcoin in the future so i think bitcoin is much more profitable currency than altcoins.') @sopel.module.commands('isittrue') def isittrue(bot, trigger): draw = random.random() if draw < 0.33: silly_string = "True as the day is long." elif 0.66 > draw >= 0.33: silly_string = "Irrelevant question in this post-truth world." elif 1 > draw >= 0.66: silly_string = "Lies! Damn Lies! It's statitistics!" bot.say(silly_string) @sopel.module.commands('jaxx') def jaxx(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'This command will be implemented soon. Honest. Especially if the devs can provide some unpaid assistance. Soonโ„ข...') @sopel.module.commands('jimbell') def jaxx(bot, trigger): if not trigger.group(2): bot.say(u'https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Bell') else: bot.say(u'{} has opened an assassination futures market predicting the impending demise of {}.'.format(trigger.nick, trigger.group(2))) @sopel.module.commands('john_alan') def joshua(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'Ps the coverage blackspot I reported 37 times in 2016/2017 is STILL DOWN. If I were running Virigin Mobile Iโ€™d be so ashamed of myself.') @sopel.module.commands('jwinterm') def jwinterm(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'j_winter_m') @sopel.module.commands('kid', 'rehrar') def kid(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'What up kid?') @sopel.module.commands('koan') def koan(bot, trigger): bot.say("The use cases are many and varied") @sopel.module.commands('kramer') def kramer(bot, trigger): bot.say("Waiting for a retrace to 0.007") @sopel.module.commands('lambo') def lambo(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'Our mission is to give you a taste of the lambo dream ๐ŸŽ '.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('lenny') def lenny(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('lietome') def lietome(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5AsQbLHWbw'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('livermore') def livermore(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reminiscences_of_a_Stock_Operator'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('loki') def loki(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'Only $13 to run a masternode ๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿคก https://i.imgur.com/aK5kiwi.png') @sopel.module.commands('luigi') def luigi(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'๐Ÿ„ luigi is doing. mario is not doing luigi is doing ๐Ÿ„'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('ltc', 'chikun') def ltc(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ” https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder100/48222100.jpg ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ”'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('major') def major(bot, trigger): bot.say(r"Showed them a sneak peak of the MAJOR Monero announcement that is happening at tomorrow's meetup, they're excited!") @sopel.module.commands('masternode', 'masternodes') def masternode(bot, trigger): bot.say('http://hadoopilluminated.com/hadoop_illuminated/images/hdfs3.jpg') @sopel.module.commands('monerov', 'v') def monerov(bot, trigger): bot.say(u"๐Ÿ”’๐Ÿ”’๐Ÿ”’ MoneroV is more secured than others. That's why it is better invest on moneroV. ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ".encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('moon') def moon(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'โ”—(ยฐ0ยฐ)โ”›'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('multisig') def multisig(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'๐“ผ๐“ฒ๐“ฐ๐“ท๐“ช๐“ฝ๐“พ๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ผ๐“ฒ๐“ฐ๐“ท๐“ช๐“ฝ๐“พ๐“ป๐“ฎ'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('myriad', 'myr', 'myriadcoin') def myriad(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'Myriad - A coin for everyone ๐Ÿ–'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('needmoney', 'needmoney90', 'nm90') def needmoney(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'cash rules everything around me C.R.E.A.M get the money ๐Ÿ’ต ๐Ÿ’ต bill yall'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('nioc') def nioc(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'https://ifunny.co/fun/laeIohx56'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('nomnomnom') def nomnomnom(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'แ—งโ€ขโ€ขโ€ขแ—ฃ'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('noom') def noom(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'โ”(.0.)โ”“'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('notbad', 'dorian') def notbad(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'๏ผˆยดใƒผ๏ฝ€๏ผ‰ http://hackingdistributed.com/images/2014-01-01-bitcoin/dorian1.jpg ๏ผˆยดใƒผ๏ฝ€๏ผ‰'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('obama') def obama(bot, trigger): bot.say('https://media0.giphy.com/media/9W4FM9Eis7Vyo/giphy.gif') odboptions = [ "FBI don't you be watching me", "Ooo baby I like it raw", "Jacques Cousteau could never get this low" ] @sopel.module.commands('odb', 'oldirty') def odb(bot, trigger): bot.say(random.choice(odboptions)) @sopel.module.commands('orff') def orff(bot, trigger): bot.say("O Fortuna velut luna statu variabilis, semper crescis aut decrescis; vita detestabilis nunc obdurat et tunc curat ludo mentis aciem, egestatem, potestatem dissolvit ut glaciem.") @sopel.module.commands('pamp') def pamp(bot, trigger): bot.say("Pamp o clock yet?") perooptions = [ 'https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqreRufrkxM', 'https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnPrtiLy0uU', 'https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8qOV1z7ZA0' ] @sopel.module.commands('pero') def pero(bot, trigger): bot.say(random.choice(perooptions)) @sopel.module.commands('pivx') def pivc(bot, trigger): bot.say("Masternodes + PoS...what could possibly go wrong?") @sopel.module.commands('pony') def pony(bot, trigger): bot.say("https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3rpmctmC_M") @sopel.module.commands('primer') def primer(bot, trigger): bot.say("The point is not how much i made, point is fluffy did this on purpose, more than 10 people were in on it. His commit access needs to be revoked asap!") @sopel.module.commands('praise') def praise(bot, trigger): bot.say("https://praisemonero.com") @sopel.module.commands('pubg') def pubg(bot, trigger): bot.say("https://i.redd.it/o6o5gqmetacz.jpg") confirmoptions = [ "I can confirm that it is true", "This is true", "Fake news", "Alternative fact", "The outlook is murky, ask again later" ] @sopel.module.commands('pleaseconfirm', 'confirm') def confirm(bot, trigger): bot.say(random.choice(confirmoptions)) projectingoptions = [ "https://i.warosu.org/data/fa/img/0059/31/1365465556033.jpg", "https://thenicessist.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/screen-shot-2015-12-15-at-8-03-04-pm.png?w=748", "https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cMYssGE9g6w/VNru-2E-bDI/AAAAAAAAA3Y/fM91wN757Z0/s1600/Projection.PNG", "https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/b7/fa/f3/b7faf3aac68dc3f15d3526ecb292dc8b.jpg", "https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/17/40/e1/1740e15f12c153c00a041d95978f831c.gif" ] @sopel.module.commands('projecting') def projecting(bot, trigger): bot.say(random.choice(projectingoptions)) @sopel.module.commands('purge') def purge(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'โ™”โ™”โ™” Bow to the king https://preview.redd.it/fr8q7x9utnzy.png?width=612&auto=webp&s=8bf7aa7674d2dc3157b776ae07771144833cd879 โ™”โ™”โ™”'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('rarepepe', 'rare') def rarepepe(bot, trigger): try: r=requests.get('https://rarepepewallet.com/feed') j=r.json() except: bot.say("Problem getting rarepepe data :sadfrogface:") try: if trigger.group(2) == None: name=random.choice(j.keys()) else: name=trigger.group(2).upper() pepe=j[name] bot.say("{0} is the #{1} card in series {2} of which {3} exist {4}".format(name, pepe['order'], pepe['series'], pepe['quantity'], pepe['img_url'].replace('\\', ''))) except: bot.say("{0} rare pepe doesn't seem to exist".format(trigger.group(2))) @sopel.module.commands('rip') def rip(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'(X_X) โ˜œ (โ—‰โ–‚โ—‰ ) we hardly knew ye'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('risto', 'rpietila') def risto(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'Zionists own the media, including Hollywood. It is nothing extraordinary for them to use it to further their goals. Just see what they are propagating every day in every media outlet. And the compulsory disclaimer: Zionist != Jew. Zionists in my understanding are typically mostly not even ethnic Jews, and the supermajority of Jews certainly are not Zionists. Zionism is a purely political supremacy movement.'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('romerito', 'romero') def romerito(bot, trigger): draw = random.random() if draw < 0.25: silly_string = "O Romerito, Romerito! wherefore art thou Romerito?" elif 0.5 > draw >= 0.25: silly_string = "To buy or not to buy: that is the question" elif 0.75 > draw >= 0.5: silly_string = "Cowards die many times before their deaths; the Romerito never taste of death" elif 1 > draw >= 0.75: silly_string = "Et tu, Romerito!" bot.say(silly_string) @sopel.module.commands('rotten') def rotten(bot, trigger): reddit = praw.Reddit(client_id=client.client_id, client_secret=client.client_secret, user_agent='asdfasdfasdfjhwrgth', username=client.username, password=client.password) try: sub=reddit.subreddit('4chan') posts=sub.hot(limit=100) n=random.randint(0,100) for i, post in enumerate(posts): if i==n: bot.say(post.url) except: bot.say("Something something reddit's servers") @sopel.module.commands('ryo') def ryo(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'https://i.imgflip.com/2nn22t.jpg') sadminoptions = [ u"Hi all i was setupping a mining pool and in trynd on virtual box (install It on PC make me Crazy with wifi driver...i really dont know how make them work) So...when i try run monerod said something like that an HDD Is too slow d'oro Sync and stops...but im on VM and a virtual box with NVME emulated dont LET me boot Ubuntu...", u"POOL ONLINE, ALL WORK AND FEE 0% i had problems", u"Im tryng fixing things", u"Idk why now pool say Can connect webui and stop work...in gonna recompile It...back in 30 minutes" ] @sopel.module.commands('sadmin') def sadmin(bot, trigger): bot.say(random.choice(sadminoptions)) @sopel.module.commands('scam') def scam(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'http://i.imgflip.com/is8.jpg') @sopel.module.commands('soon') def soon(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'Two weeksโ„ข'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('shillo', 'cid') def shillo(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'โ˜ โ˜ โ˜  Crypto is ded https://cryptocurrencydiy.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/bitcoin-is-dead-exit-all-crypto-1024x576-1024x585.jpg โ˜ โ˜ โ˜  '.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('shrug') def shrug(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'ยฏ\_(ใƒ„)_/ยฏ'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('softich') def softich(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'๐Ÿป๐Ÿป๐Ÿป https://imgflip.com/i/1ve397 ๐Ÿป๐Ÿป๐Ÿป'.encode('utf8')) @sopel.module.commands('summon') def summon(bot, trigger): if trigger.group(2) == None: bot.say("{0} has summoned...no one".format(trigger.nick)) else: try: trigger.group(2).decode('ascii') bot.say("{0} has summoned {1}, เผผใค โ—•_โ—• เผฝใค come to us {1} เผผใค โ—•_โ—• เผฝใค".format(trigger.nick, trigger.group(2))) except: bot.say("Stop using non-ascii characters! (โ•ฏยฐโ–กยฐ๏ผ‰โ•ฏ๏ธต ( . 0 .)") suraeoptions = [ "you are speaking with such generalities, it's impossible to confirm or deny any of what you are saying, so i'll just nod and give you the benefit of the doubt and assume we are in agreement on something unspoken. haha", "The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of the mountain, or in the petals of a flower. To think otherwise is to demean the Buddha - which is to demean oneself.", "update coefList[k] = COEFPROD(coefList, q[j][k]). Can you spot a problem with that? The method signature of COEFPROD is scalar[] COEFPROD(scalar[] c, scalar[] d) <--- yeah, pass it coefList[k]." ] @sopel.module.commands('surae') def surae(bot, trigger): bot.say(random.choice(suraeoptions)) @sopel.module.commands('tech', 'initforthetech') def tech(bot, trigger): bot.say("I'm in it for the tech https://i.imgur.com/h2g7wSe.png ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ’ปโš™") @sopel.module.commands('thicc') def thicc(bot, trigger): bot.say("https://pics.me.me/you-on-the-beach-and-luigi-walk-pass-and-give-42542268.png") @sopel.module.commands('timetravelpp') def timetravelpp(bot, trigger): bot.say("A journey is best measured in pepes, rather than miles http://rarepepedirectory.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/timetravelpepe.jpg") @sopel.module.commands('trivia') def trivia(bot, trigger): h = HTMLParser() try: triviaurl = 'https://opentdb.com/api.php?amount=1&type=multiple' r = requests.get(triviaurl) j = r.json() category = j['results'][0]['category'] difficulty = j['results'][0]['difficulty'] question = h.unescape(j['results'][0]['question']) answers = [j['results'][0]['correct_answer']] for i in j['results'][0]['incorrect_answers']: answers.append(i) random.shuffle(answers) correct_answer = j['results'][0]['correct_answer'] incorrect_answers = j['results'][0]['incorrect_answers'] bot.say("This question is in the field of {} and is of {} difficulty: {}".format(category, difficulty, question)) bot.say("The possible answers are: {}, {}, {}, or {}".format(answers[0], answers[1], answers[2], answers[3])) replystr = "If you said {} you are correct, but if you said {}, {}, or {} you should call your parents and complain.".format(correct_answer, incorrect_answers[0], incorrect_answers[1], incorrect_answers[2]) def f(): bot.say(replystr) t = Timer(10.0, f) t.start() except: bot.say("No trivia for you!") @sopel.module.commands('tinytrump') def tinytrump(bot, trigger): reddit = praw.Reddit(client_id=client.client_id, client_secret=client.client_secret, user_agent='asdfasdfasdfjhwrgth', username=client.username, password=client.password) try: sub=reddit.subreddit('tinytrump') posts=sub.new(limit=100) n=random.randint(0,100) for i, post in enumerate(posts): if i==n: bot.say(post.url) except: bot.say("Something something reddit's servers") @sopel.module.commands('trump') def trump(bot, trigger): bot.say("Monero is the best crypto, believe me, I know crypto and it's going to be yuuuuuuuge!") @sopel.module.commands('tumbleweed') def trumbleweed(bot, trigger): bot.say("https://rootco.de/2016-03-28-why-use-tumbleweed/") @sopel.module.commands('unflip') def unflip(bot, trigger): bot.say(u'โ”ฌโ”€โ”ฌใƒŽ( ยบ _ ยบใƒŽ)'.encode('utf8')) urmomoptions = [ "ur mom is so stupid she bought all the dash", "ur momma got a peg leg with a kickstand", "ur mom is so fat it looks like she's just gliding across the floor", "your mother is so obese she would have mass whether or not the Higgs boson exists", "ur mom is so fat that her blood type is nutella", "ur mama is so fat she wears neck deoderant", "ur mom's middle name is Mudbone", "ur momma has a glass eye with a fish in it", "ur mama is so stupid she sold her romero for bitcoins", "ur momma look like a Simpsons character", "ur mom is so ugly Donald Trump wouldn't even grab her by the pussy", "ur momma is so stupid she listens to rpietila", "ur mom is Amanda B Johnson", "US ur mom if u want to U!", "ur mom is so stupid she thinks Craig Wright is Satoshi" ] @sopel.module.commands('urmom', 'yourmom', 'yomom', 'yomomma') def urmom(bot, trigger): bot.say(random.choice(urmomoptions)) @sopel.module.commands('verge', 'xvg', 'wraith') def verge(bot, trigger): bot.say(u"๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ• Don't wraith my dark doge bro! ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ•".encode('utf8')) vitalikoptions = [ "https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CrWjczJXgAExF2S.jpg", "mETH, not even once: https://cdn-az.allevents.in/banners/e7df519e0808bac49fa3aaf503aff87d", "Betteridge's law of headlines: https://fortunedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2016/09/blo_startups_2520x1667.png", "Casper can survive 51% attacks happening once in a while; we can just delete the attackers' deposits and keep going." ] @sopel.module.commands('vitalik', 'buterin') def vitalik(bot, trigger): bot.say(random.choice(vitalikoptions)) @sopel.module.commands('wat') def wat(bot, trigger): bot.say("https://www.destroyallsoftware.com/talks/wat") @sopel.module.commands('wow') def wow(bot, trigger): bot.say("Let he who is without win cast the first ๐Ÿ’Ž: http://wownero.org") @sopel.module.commands('yoda') def yoda(bot, trigger): bot.say("The optimism is strong in this one") @sopel.module.commands('xrp') def xrp(bot, trigger): bot.say("We have the best C++ dev team in the world!") zcashoptions = [ "Trust us guys, we totally smashed that computer up, with like...magnetic baseball bats.", "https://youtu.be/A51Bl3jkF0c" ] @sopel.module.commands('zec', 'zcash') def zcash(bot, trigger): bot.say(random.choice(zcashoptions)) @sopel.module.commands('zooko') def zcash(bot, trigger): bot.say("And by the way, I think we can successfully make Zcash too traceable for criminals like WannaCry, but still completely private & fungible.") @sopel.module.rule('[Tt]est.*') def test(bot, trigger): bot.say("Test failed") @sopel.module.rule('monerobux o\/') def wave(bot, trigger): #bot.reply(u'โ€น^โ€บ โ€น(โ€ข_โ€ข)โ€บ โ€น^โ€บ'.encode('utf8')) bot.reply('hello') #@sopel.module.rule('[Tt]rump') #def politics(bot, trigger): # bot.reply("politics is the mind killer") @sopel.module.rule('.*1Dj34exPs3S9qAV1aiGAAADzbashsSVKVP*.') def scamdouble(bot, trigger): bot.say("{} is a scammer and bitcoin is a scam".format(trigger.nick)) @sopel.module.commands('whaleornot') def whaleornot(bot, trigger): if not trigger.group(2): bot.say("Gotta have skin in the game to be a big fish! Add some XMR after the command to see what level the player is at!") else: try: xmr_size = float(trigger.group(2)) if xmr_size <= 0: fish_string = "amoeba" elif xmr_size < 0.1: fish_string = "plankton" elif xmr_size >= 0.1 and xmr_size < 0.2: fish_string = "Paedocypris" elif xmr_size >= 0.2 and xmr_size < 0.5: fish_string = "Dwarf Goby" elif xmr_size >= 0.5 and xmr_size < 1: fish_string = "European Pilchard" elif xmr_size >= 1 and xmr_size < 2: fish_string = "Goldfish" elif xmr_size >= 2 and xmr_size < 5: fish_string = "Herring" elif xmr_size >= 5 and xmr_size < 10: fish_string = "Atlantic Macerel" elif xmr_size >= 10 and xmr_size < 20: fish_string = "Gilt-head Bream" elif xmr_size >= 20 and xmr_size < 50: fish_string = "Salmonidae" elif xmr_size >= 50 and xmr_size < 100: fish_string = "Gadidae" elif xmr_size >= 100 and xmr_size < 200: fish_string = "Norwegian Delicious Salmon" elif xmr_size >= 200 and xmr_size < 500: fish_string = "Electric eel" elif xmr_size >= 500 and xmr_size < 1000: fish_string = "Tuna" elif xmr_size >= 1000 and xmr_size < 2000: fish_string = "Wels catfish" elif xmr_size >= 2000 and xmr_size < 5000: fish_string = "Black marlin" elif xmr_size >= 5000 and xmr_size < 10000: fish_string = "Shark" elif xmr_size >= 10000 and xmr_size < 20000: fish_string = "Dolphin" elif xmr_size >= 20000 and xmr_size < 40000: fish_string = "Narwhal" elif xmr_size >= 40000 and xmr_size < 60000: fish_string = "Orca" elif xmr_size >= 60000 and xmr_size < 100000: fish_string = "Blue Whale" elif xmr_size >= 100000 and xmr_size < 200000: fish_string = "Leviathan" elif xmr_size >= 200000: fish_string = "Cthulu" bot.say("{0} level.".format(fish_string)) except: bot.say("Try a base ten representation of a number") @sopel.module.commands('trebuchet') def trebuchet(bot, trigger): bot.say("Can YOU use a counterweight to launch a 90 kg projectile over 300 meters? Yeah, I thought not.") @sopel.module.commands('baka') def baka(bot, trigger): bot.say('https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5n7CSGPzqw') @sopel.module.commands('btcdwed') def btcdwed(bot, trigger): bot.say('https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZYZoQQ6LJQ') @sopel.module.commands('wayshegoes') def wayshegoes(bot, trigger): bot.say('https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SpihGKmYgY') @sopel.module.commands('weather') def weather(bot, trigger): wk = client.weather_key try: if not trigger.group(2): location = q="san%20francisco" elif trigger.group(2) == 'nioc': location = 'new york city' else: location = trigger.group(2) if location.isdigit(): location = "zip="+location else: location = "q="+location.replace(' ', '%20') r = requests.get('https://api.openweathermap.org/data/2.5/weather?{}&appid={}'.format(location, wk)) j = r.json() try: bot.say("In {} it is {:.2f} C with a low of {:.2f} and high of {:.2f} C, humidity is {}%, winds of {} m/s at an angle of {} deg with {}.".format(j['name']+', '+j['sys']['country'], float(j['main']['temp'])-273, float(j['main']['temp_min'])-273, float(j['main']['temp_max'])-273, j['main']['humidity'], j['wind']['speed'], j['wind']['deg'], j['weather'][0]['description'])) except: bot.say("In {} it is {:.2f} C with a low of {:.2f} and high of {:.2f} C, humidity is {}%, winds of {} m/s with {}.".format(j['name']+', '+j['sys']['country'], float(j['main']['temp'])-273, float(j['main']['temp_min'])-273, float(j['main']['temp_max'])-273, j['main']['humidity'], j['wind']['speed'], j['weather'][0]['description'])) except: bot.say("The earth is on fire ๐ŸŒŽ๐Ÿ”ฅ")