357 lines
12 KiB
Python
357 lines
12 KiB
Python
# -*- coding: utf-8 -*-
|
||
import sopel.module
|
||
import random
|
||
import re
|
||
import requests
|
||
import praw
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('4matter')
|
||
def fourmatter(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say('Irish I be fookin <3 Milo')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('aminorex')
|
||
def aminorex(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say('if i could replace my wife with a robot... i might seriously think about it')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('ayylmao', 'lmao')
|
||
def lmao(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say('https://i.redd.it/jjiwl9dbejoy.jpg')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('banana')
|
||
def banana(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say('(')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('bananas')
|
||
def bananas(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say('(((')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('barolo')
|
||
def barolo(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say('I just opened a 2004 barolo in your and all the devs honor -- https://i.ytimg.com/vi/-JvdfsIeb-s/hqdefault.jpg')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('bear')
|
||
def bear(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'ʕ ·(エ)· ʔ'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('brothers')
|
||
def brothers(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'http://www.trollaxor.com/2011/11/brief-history-of-ascii-penis.html'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('buyorsell')
|
||
def buyorsell(bot, trigger):
|
||
draw = random.random()
|
||
if draw < 0.33:
|
||
silly_string = "Sell, sell, sell!"
|
||
elif 0.66 > draw >= 0.33:
|
||
silly_string = "Hodl!"
|
||
elif 1 > draw >= 0.66:
|
||
silly_string = "Buy, buy, buy!"
|
||
bot.say(silly_string)
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('china')
|
||
def china(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say('https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbM2F-cfN0A')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('cursive')
|
||
def cursive(bot, trigger):
|
||
instring = trigger.group(2)
|
||
outstring = u''
|
||
normals = ['a','b','c','d','e','f','g','h','i','j','k','l','m','n','o','p','q','r','s','t','u','v','w','x','y','z','A','B','C','D','E','F','G','H','I','J','K','L','M','N','O','P','Q','R','S','T','U','V','W','X','Y','Z']
|
||
curses = [u'𝓪',u'𝓫',u'𝓬',u'𝓭',u'𝓮',u'𝓯',u'𝓰',u'𝓱',u'𝓲',u'𝓳',u'𝓴',u'𝓵',u'𝓶',u'𝓷',u'𝓸',u'𝓹',u'𝓺',u'𝓻',u'𝓼',u'𝓽',u'𝓾',u'𝓿',u'𝔀',u'𝔁',u'𝔂',u'𝔃',u'𝓐',u'𝓑',u'𝓒',u'𝓓',u'𝓔',u'𝓕',u'𝓖',u'𝓗',u'𝓘',u'𝓙',u'𝓚',u'𝓛',u'𝓜',u'𝓝',u'𝓞',u'𝓟',u'𝓠',u'𝓡',u'𝓢',u'𝓣',u'𝓤',u'𝓥',u'𝓦',u'𝓧',u'𝓨',u'𝓩']
|
||
for idx, val in enumerate(instring):
|
||
if val in normals:
|
||
outstring += curses[normals.index(val)]
|
||
else:
|
||
outstring += val
|
||
bot.say(outstring)
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('dash')
|
||
def dash(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say('http://www.dash-wash.com/it-it')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('dealwithit')
|
||
def dealwithit(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('disapprove')
|
||
def disapprove(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'ಠ_ಠ'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('ded')
|
||
def ded(bot, trigger):
|
||
if random.random() < 0.5:
|
||
bot.say('http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/715/140/3b2.jpg')
|
||
else:
|
||
bot.say('https://imgur.com/a/yzNZW')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('donate', 'donation')
|
||
def donate(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say('45SkxgDmcLmW5ByS7w9AG78JuJRvCoVKCdGJWnd4US95CBUAtvdGAdM2oHgZgTGjkEAUcwdqcryM819aqdeiKxHSQC8HkmS', trigger.nick)
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('dump')
|
||
def dump(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say('https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHg8qIKJo1I')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('eth')
|
||
def eth(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'The world computer 💻🌐'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('fib', 'fibonacci')
|
||
def fib(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'Pardon me, do you have a moment to discuss our lord and savior ✞Cheesus Monero✞?'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('flip')
|
||
def flip(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
fuckyouoptions = [
|
||
"http://imgur.com/Kt8os8v",
|
||
"https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/502111486915788801/DtB5ruDz_400x400.jpeg",
|
||
"http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/70/7073ff0ce9c54f6672f157ebef668c1b6bb123d15fc2e2bc062ec1558f964820.jpg",
|
||
"http://static.deathandtaxesmag.com/uploads/2015/01/staff-troll-fuck-you.png",
|
||
]
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('fuckyou')
|
||
def fuckyou(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(random.choice(fuckyouoptions))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('gay')
|
||
def gay(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say('https://i.imgur.com/RHbXrLa.png')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('gui')
|
||
def gui(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say('http://imgur.com/a/hnxfS')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('hmm', 'hmmm')
|
||
def hmm(bot, trigger):
|
||
try:
|
||
sub=reddit.get_subreddit('hmmm')
|
||
posts=sub.get_new(limit=100)
|
||
n=random.randint(0,100)
|
||
for i, post in enumerate(posts):
|
||
if i==n:
|
||
bot.say(post.url)
|
||
except:
|
||
bot.say("Something something reddit's servers")
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('isittrue')
|
||
def isittrue(bot, trigger):
|
||
draw = random.random()
|
||
if draw < 0.33:
|
||
silly_string = "True as the day is long."
|
||
elif 0.66 > draw >= 0.33:
|
||
silly_string = "Irrelevant question in this post-truth world."
|
||
elif 1 > draw >= 0.66:
|
||
silly_string = "Lies! Damn Lies! It's statitistics!"
|
||
bot.say(silly_string)
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('jaxx')
|
||
def jaxx(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'This command will be implemented soon. Honest. Especially if the devs can provide some unpaid assistance. Soon™...')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('joshua1234')
|
||
def joshua(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'The first, second, third, and fourth amongst joshes.')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('jwinterm')
|
||
def jwinterm(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'j_winter_m')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('lenny')
|
||
def lenny(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('ltc', 'chikun')
|
||
def ltc(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'🐔🐔🐔 https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder100/48222100.jpg 🐔🐔🐔'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('masternode', 'masternodes')
|
||
def masternode(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say('http://hadoopilluminated.com/hadoop_illuminated/images/hdfs3.jpg')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('moon')
|
||
def moon(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'┗(°0°)┛'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('multisig')
|
||
def multisig(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'𝓼𝓲𝓰𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓼𝓲𝓰𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('nomnomnom')
|
||
def nomnomnom(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'ᗧ•••ᗣ'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('noom')
|
||
def noom(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'┏(.0.)┓'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
odboptions = [
|
||
"FBI don't you be watching me",
|
||
"Ooo baby I like it raw",
|
||
"Jacques Cousteau could never get this low"
|
||
]
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('odb', 'oldirty')
|
||
def odb(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(random.choice(confirmoptions))
|
||
|
||
perooptions = [
|
||
'https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqreRufrkxM',
|
||
'https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnPrtiLy0uU'
|
||
]
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('pero')
|
||
def pero(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(random.choice(perooptions))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('pivx')
|
||
def pivc(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say("Masternodes + PoS...what could possibly go wrong?")
|
||
|
||
confirmoptions = [
|
||
"I can confirm that it is true",
|
||
"This is true",
|
||
"Fake news",
|
||
"Alternative fact",
|
||
"The outlook is murky, ask again later"
|
||
]
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('pleaseconfirm', 'confirm')
|
||
def confirm(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(random.choice(confirmoptions))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('rarepepe', 'rare')
|
||
def rarepepe(bot, trigger):
|
||
try:
|
||
r=requests.get('https://rarepepewallet.com/feed')
|
||
j=r.json()
|
||
except:
|
||
bot.say("Problem getting rarepepe data :sadfrogface:")
|
||
try:
|
||
if trigger.group(2) == None:
|
||
name=random.choice(j.keys())
|
||
else:
|
||
name=trigger.group(2).upper()
|
||
pepe=j[name]
|
||
bot.say("{0} is the #{1} card in series {2} of which {3} exist {4}".format(name, pepe['order'], pepe['series'], pepe['quantity'], pepe['img_url'].replace('\\', '')))
|
||
except:
|
||
bot.say("{0} rare pepe doesn't seem to exist".format(trigger.group(2)))
|
||
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('rip')
|
||
def rip(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'(X_X) ☜ (◉▂◉ ) we hardly knew ye'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('romerito', 'romero')
|
||
def romerito(bot, trigger):
|
||
draw = random.random()
|
||
if draw < 0.25:
|
||
silly_string = "O Romerito, Romerito! wherefore art thou Romerito?"
|
||
elif 0.5 > draw >= 0.25:
|
||
silly_string = "To buy or not to buy: that is the question"
|
||
elif 0.75 > draw >= 0.5:
|
||
silly_string = "Cowards die many times before their deaths; the Romerito never taste of death"
|
||
elif 1 > draw >= 0.75:
|
||
silly_string = "Et tu, Romerito!"
|
||
bot.say(silly_string)
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('scam')
|
||
def scam(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'http://i.imgflip.com/is8.jpg')
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('soon')
|
||
def soon(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'Two weeks™'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('shrug')
|
||
def shrug(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'¯\_(ツ)_/¯'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('summon')
|
||
def summon(bot, trigger):
|
||
if trigger.group(2) == None:
|
||
bot.say("{0} has summoned...no one".format(trigger.nick))
|
||
else:
|
||
try:
|
||
trigger.group(2).decode('ascii')
|
||
bot.say("{0} has summoned {1}, ༼つ ◕_◕ ༽つ come to us {1} ༼つ ◕_◕ ༽つ".format(trigger.nick, trigger.group(2)))
|
||
except:
|
||
bot.say("Stop using non-ascii characters! (╯°□°）╯︵ ( . 0 .)")
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('timetravelpp')
|
||
def timetravelpp(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say("A journey is best measured in pepes, rather than miles http://rarepepedirectory.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/timetravelpepe.jpg")
|
||
|
||
reddit=praw.Reddit(user_agent='monerobux')
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('tinytrump')
|
||
def tinytrump(bot, trigger):
|
||
try:
|
||
sub=reddit.get_subreddit('tinytrump')
|
||
posts=sub.get_new(limit=100)
|
||
n=random.randint(0,100)
|
||
for i, post in enumerate(posts):
|
||
if i==n:
|
||
bot.say(post.url)
|
||
except:
|
||
bot.say("Something something reddit's servers")
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('trump')
|
||
def trump(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say("Monero is the best crypto, believe me, I know crypto and it's going to be yuuuuuuuge!")
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('tumbleweed')
|
||
def trump(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say("https://rootco.de/2016-03-28-why-use-tumbleweed/")
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('unflip')
|
||
def unflip(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(u'┬─┬ノ( º _ ºノ)'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
|
||
urmomoptions = [
|
||
"ur mom is so stupid she bought all the dash",
|
||
"ur momma got a peg leg with a kickstand",
|
||
"ur mom is so fat it looks like she's just gliding across the floor",
|
||
"your mother is so obese she would have mass whether or not the Higgs boson exists",
|
||
"ur mom is so fat that her blood type is nutella",
|
||
"ur mama is so fat she wears neck deoderant",
|
||
"ur mom's middle name is Mudbone",
|
||
"ur momma has a glass eye with a fish in it",
|
||
"ur mama is so stupid she sold her romero for bitcoins",
|
||
"ur momma look like a Simpsons character",
|
||
"ur mom is so ugly Donald Trump wouldn't even grab her by the pussy",
|
||
"ur momma is so stupid she listens to rpietila",
|
||
"ur mom is Amanda B Johnson",
|
||
"US ur mom if u want to U!",
|
||
"ur mom is so stupid she thinks Craig Wright is Satoshi"
|
||
]
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('urmom', 'yourmom', 'yomom', 'yomomma')
|
||
def urmom(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(random.choice(urmomoptions))
|
||
|
||
vitalikoptions = [
|
||
"https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CrWjczJXgAExF2S.jpg",
|
||
"mETH, not even once: https://cdn-az.allevents.in/banners/e7df519e0808bac49fa3aaf503aff87d",
|
||
"Betteridge's law of headlines: https://fortunedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2016/09/blo_startups_2520x1667.png"
|
||
]
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('vitalik', 'buterin')
|
||
def vitalik(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(random.choice(vitalikoptions))
|
||
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('wat')
|
||
def wat(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say("https://www.destroyallsoftware.com/talks/wat")
|
||
|
||
zcashoptions = [
|
||
"Trust us guys, we totally smashed that computer up, with like...magnetic baseball bats.",
|
||
"https://youtu.be/A51Bl3jkF0c"
|
||
]
|
||
@sopel.module.commands('zec', 'zcash')
|
||
def zcash(bot, trigger):
|
||
bot.say(random.choice(zcashoptions))
|
||
|
||
@sopel.module.rule('monerobux o\/')
|
||
def wave(bot, trigger):
|
||
#bot.reply(u'‹^› ‹(•_•)› ‹^›'.encode('utf8'))
|
||
bot.reply('hello')
|
||
#@sopel.module.rule('[Tt]rump')
|
||
#def politics(bot, trigger):
|
||
# bot.reply("politics is the mind killer")
|